El Nino's Big Adventure

It's a little after 7am, and el nino is sleeping in my arms as I type this. We are eagerly awaiting the arrival of El's maternal grandma later this morning. She will be staying with us for about a week. And I think she is just hitting the road right about now with my cousin, K. Both of these wonderful ladies came to visit me while I was in the hospital. I'll explain a bit more about that.

I had a meltdown almost a week after El's arrival, and the meltdown took place at the hospital. So I was taken to the emergency room and then the psych ward. The really hard part was getting out of the psych ward to visit my baby. And, unfortunately, the doctors and staff continued to tell me (and my husband) that I would have daily access to el nino. This turned out not to be true. In the week and a half I was ensconsed in Chez Psych, I visited El only twice for a total of about an hour. Not what I would call daily access.

It's been tough to admit to myself that I lost control of my life, my mind, and my son for even a brief amount of time. But I think the story needs to be told for my own benefit and perhaps the benefit of others (if the telling helps one other, then that would be more than enough). So I expect I will continue to share bits of this experience with you, dear readers, as time moves on.

I am surprised to hear my friends tell me, "Oh, those first few weeks were really hard - the hardest. I cried every day..." or something to that affect. I don't think I had any idea how powerful the hormones are that course through a woman's body after giving birth and how doggone tired we are after labor. T-I-R-E-D! Hence the apt name of "labor".

And yes, it is vitally important to have help right after the baby comes, and that help is needed whether the baby comes home right away or has to stay in the hospital. And mothers, especially new mothers like me, need to be Humble (with a capital H) and accept the help AND the advice because, believe it or not, after going through labor you do NOT suddenly know everything you need to know. And, if you're someone like me who thought she knew everything before labor, you are in for even more of a shock.

But now our dear boy is home with us, and it is time for happier stories (for the moment at least). I had to interrupt my soliloquy to put El down in his bassinet. He makes noises when he sleeps, little squeeks and moaning cries. Are these the sounds he makes while dreaming, as his father believes? Are they the creaks and groans of growing "pains"? Or are they the delightful babble of life itself before language intervenes?

Another of the lessons I've learned in the few short weeks since el nino's birth (other than humility) is to not make assumptions. Ah is this hard! I've learned it's not good to make assumptions, but I haven't learned HOW not to make them yet. If I get a clue, I'll pass it along to you. (By the way, I don't mean the biblical kind of assumption.) So I won't assume that El's sounds are any of the explanations I've listed above. Good luck to you in your journey through the day and may you breathe freely, feel an ounce of humility, and make one less assumption. All our love.