El Nino's Big Adventure

I think I've mentioned in a previous post that time is on my mind lately. I don't understand it much. Sometimes I feel as though I could touch a moment in time from my past, but when I count the years that separate that moment from my present I am surprised by how long ago it actually took place. And as I watch my young son grow, I sometimes feel as though I could touch a moment of time in his future when he is 5 or 10 or 20. And I know that I will look back at these moments 20 years from now and be surprised by how quickly the time flew. And whenever I say, "I can't wait..." I startle myself into realizing whatever it is I can't wait for will come and go so quickly that I'll have forgotten I was ever impatient for it. So I will endeavor to eradicate that phrase from my conversation.

So in an effort to appreciate time or not waste time or to enjoy time or whatever it is, I am tasting each moment as fully as I can. I was a little miffed with my husband this morning because he neglected to bring el's formula home after work last night. So I had to go get it myself before I fed him and went to work. As I walked my dog, I felt the tension in my body. And then it struck me that I could actually enjoy this errand. It's a beautiful day, I was with my lovely daug in the city I love. So the tension just melted away.

As I fed el nino, I drank in the smell of him, the texture of his hair, the softness of his skin. I held him against my shoulder, patting his back, as he cooed and wiggled.

Recently I said to my husband, "I can't wait to get my haircut." As I walked to work from the subway I felt the breeze sift through my hair and it felt lovely. No haircut yet, but I'll try to enjoy the sensation until it changes into something else.