El Nino's Big Adventure

I've been thinking a lot about the balance between taking care of myself and taking care of my son. It's actually been a fairly constant theme. But it has come up recently as I spoke with a friend who is feeling ill and has a baby to care for. And the subject also comes up for a family member who is just beginning divorce proceedings but whose focus (for both parents actually) is on how the now grown children will fair during this process.

El nino had a bad reaction to a shot last week. His leg swoll up where the shot had been given, and he was crying in pain. I came home a little later than usual that day and brought some baby tylonol with me. As soon as I walked in the door I had this urgent need to hold my son to try to comfort him. And when his dad placed him in my arms, I could feel my whole being envelope him with love and care. I had nothing in the world I wanted to do or anywhere else I wanted to be than right there holding my child.

And baby tylonol is a blessing. It was only a few minutes after giving him the medicine (and mommy's love) that he calmed down and felt better. What a joy to see the pain ease and to have my son's normal demeanor return.

So caring for oneself and caring for one's child is a constant negotiation. Sometimes immediate need makes the decision fairly transparent, but at other times it is not quite so clear. So building a routine of self care and child care seems to be the best route. No guilt when it becomes routine. And there is a beauty to routine, a grace to it. Then when you break the routine once in a while, new life is infused into it. Anyway, those are my thoughts about it for now.