El Nino's Big Adventure

I think it is fair to say that El Nino said his first word, officially, this morning: "Daddy". He's been making sounds in this general direction, and others as well, for quite some time. But I think today we gathered he actually knew what he was saying. So we've had a rather exciting week already, and it's only Wednesday!

...and one giant leap for body and brain. El Nino took his first steps yesterday, two to be exact, as he reached for an object Daddy had. He did it unknowingly but that is just the beginning, yes? We have noticed that he is standing, balancing on his two legs far longer, and he is squatting more as well - something we heard is helpful for building the muscles and the balance needed to walk.

We fly off to Mexico with Grandma, Cousin R, and "Uncle" R this Saturday. Perhaps el will be walking for his abuela next week!

Parenting 101: negotiation and the art of compromise. El's dad and I have different styles of parenting. And we have differing views as to how to go about certain aspects of raising el. Right now it seems to be around how to handle nighttime sleeping.

We have an interesting dynamic in our family. El's dad is the primary caregiver as he takes care of el during the day. Consequently, mom does not dictate how to manage the daytime. Nighttime is mom's domain. Or is it?

I spoke to a friend yesterday about this very topic, and she gave me some excellent advice. She suggested I go about my strategy and let dad go about his strategy and continue to have conversations about it. She said I had to realize it's all a process. Yes, that makes sense, a process. As el's dad and I are first-time parents, we are just beginning this process. We each have 10 months of parenting under our belts. I don't think either one of us is trying to bend the other to their will. And we certainly both have el's best interests at heart. We just have different ways of going about it, different ideas about what is best, and different strategies for how to move through the process.

This is a new and challenging era in our marriage. We were married for 11 years before el came on the scene. We had the "childless couple" thing down - so down, in fact, that we were probrably a little bored by it. Now it's a whole new world and oh what a world it is.

Tia A gave el a "baby book" to write down interesting items, particularly about the first year of his life. There is a page for mom (and one for dad) to write a letter to el which I did last night. I wrote that I have one wish that I wish when I have the good fortune to be near a Buddhist prayer wheel or when I happen by a penny-filled fountain. I wish for a long, healthy, and happy life for el. Any other wishes seem minute in comparison to that wish.

I had many dreams of what I would do in this life, many wishes. And as I age (and mature, hopefully) it doesn't make me feel bad that I did not do any of those things. On the contrary, they seem rather silly from this vantage point in life. Now I am much more interested in being rather than doing - being wholly and fully myself, free from thoughtless patterned behavior, flowing through life loving and caring for myself and others. This approach to life has brought me much contentment. I strive less, appreciate more.

So el does not have a movie star mother or a presidential father. Rather he has parents who move through life simply, who endeavor not to inflict harm, and who venture to be kind. We are a work-in-progress.

A tornado hit Brooklyn yesterday. What? Subway service was down. What? Mommy had decided to go into work half-day to give dad some much needed rest. He had spent a restless night with el who had a fever from teething. By the time mom was headed to work, it was announced by the bus driver that the subway system was down. Mom works about 100 blocks from home and the subway is the only feasible way of getting to work via public transportation. So mom took a sick day and stayed home with el, dad, and daug. El's fever broke in the morning and he was much better the rest of the day. No teeth have arrived yet, though.

El, daug, and mom spent last weekend visiting grandma. El met his Uncle W and Aunt G who were visiting from Richmond. Uncle W is super-cool according to el who really could not get enough of him. We saw grandpa too! A fun weekend was had by all.